Are you living backwards?
Are you waiting until you have that title to do the things the person in that job does so that you can be effective/influential/accomplished/confident? Pick your adjective.
Are you waiting to be accepted on the new team before you speak up? Are you waiting to be asked for your opinion before you share your recommendation? Holding back to conform to the culture?
We do this in our personal lives too:
· When I have that romantic partner, I’ll do <things couples do>, and be happy/complete/fulfilled.
· When I have lost a few pounds, I’ll do <active things>, and be energetic/healthy/admired.
· When I have that <status symbol brand> watch/car/shoes/clothes, then I’ll make an entrance and be someone who gets noticed.
Why is this a bad way to manage your career?
Those three little words, “have”, “do”, “be”, are in the wrong sequence. Why? Because human beings are good at reinforcing behavior that has us fit in and not stand out and organizations and societies are made up of human beings.
I first learned the “Be, Do, Have” concept in Landmark Worldwide curriculum and find it useful in coaching participants in Dr. Jeffrey Pfeffer’s “Building Power to Lead” course for Stanford LEAD Executive Education. The straight truth about power in organizations in Jeffrey Pfeffer’s excellent book, The 7 Rules of Power, is so candid that some people wrestle with it at first.
The 7 Rules of Power are:
Get out of your own way.
Break the rules.
Show up in a powerful fashion.
Create a powerful brand.
Network relentlessly.
Use your power.
Understand that once you have acquired power, what you did to get it will be forgiven, forgotten, or both.
Living backwards, thinking that we must “have” something before we can “do” something to “be” something, gives us plenty of excuses and keeps us from following Rule #1: Get out of your own way. Instead, we must “be” powerful to “do” the things powerful people do and “have” power.
Have you ever had that conversation with your manager or HR partner asking about your likelihood for promotion only to be told you needed to be performing at that next level to prove your readiness for that level before you would be considered for that level? What? Once I’m already doing that job I’ll be considered for that job?
It’s true. This is not the organization’s way of getting more discretionary effort out of you. It’s about minimizing uncertainty. When the opportunity to fill a VP role comes up, the people who come to mind are already “being” VP-like and “doing” things that VP’s do. Essentially, they are following Rules 2 – 6 from the book.
You’ll see when you are in a high-level role filling open positions yourself. You’ll want more certainty that you are making the right decision and choosing the right person. You will consider people who are already demonstrating the necessary behaviors, or hire externally, to reduce your decision uncertainty.
Why is this hard? Again, because humans are good at keeping each other in line. There’s cultural reinforcement for staying in your lane and not standing out. Think of Tom Hanks’ character in the movie, “Big”, being told he was working too fast, Pace Yourself, slowly, slowly. When we act with power we don’t yet have, we may get subtle or not-so-subtle feedback that we’re misbehaving. But notice that the people judging us for standing out are likely our peers, and not the people making decisions about promotions. Jeff Pfeffer’s research tells us to be confident and act with power as the exact means to gain confidence and power.
My niece is looking for her next opportunity and met with the owner of a construction company she admires. After their meeting, he said he didn’t have any openings at present, but invited her to bring her resume by the office. I advised her to bring a box of donuts when she dropped off her resume and she was alarmed. “Won’t they think I’m just brown-nosing to get the job?” she said. “Yes! They will,” I told her. “And people in the office will ask who brought the donuts and will be talking about you before there’s even an opening. Wouldn’t you want to hire the person who really wants to work there?”
Acting with power puts you in contact with more stakeholders and gets you noticed. The more people who know you, the better. One of the benefits of being known is you are familiar to more decision-makers. From the work of Dr. Baba Shiv at Stanford GSB, we know that familiarity brings comfort to a stressed brain. Making choices about things we are familiar with takes less effort, the famous “System 1” from Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow. Less effortful decisions seem more “right” to us. You want to be familiar to the people at the top.
If you’re unsure about what you can get away with in your own organization, be sure to follow Rule #5 Network Relentlessly, both internally and externally. Build relationships externally to surface opportunities and elevate your profile. To practice acting with power, I’m a big fan of volunteering. There are many organizations who will gladly hand you authority and value your leadership because they need it. If you ever run a school auction or manage a nonprofit event, you’ll forever be comfortable acting with power.
If you want more guidance and examples, get the book!
Once you’re convinced by The 7 Rules of Power, I also recommend Michael Wenderoth’s excellent Get Promoted and the inside-information in Somer Hackley’s fantastic Search in Plain Sight: Demystifying Executive Recruiting.
Start living forwards, Be, Do, Have. It will make the difference in you having the things you want for yourself because you will be doing the things you want to do and being who you want to be. Stop waiting, start being.